BAPTISIM @ GCC in Elkhart: ;RV Hall of Fame on CR17

I am not sure what to write for my first sentence. I have so many things on my mind and in my heart but have NO clue where to start.

I guess I will start with this:

I will be baptized next week at Granger in Elkhart. Now, I have struggled with this for close to 2 years. I was baptized when I was 13 years old. I try to think back when I was that age and try to remember why I was baptized. As far as I can remember it was just something everyone did. You get saved then baptized. Through the years I rebelled. Running away from home, physically fighting with my mom, sneaking out of the house, and stealing from cars. 

When I was 22 I was baptized again in a church located in Paducah, KY. It was different then. I was older and understood better. Then I was accused of being false. I was in my 6th year  of my first marriage and it was like I was only a speck of light. I became overwhelmed with darkness surrounding me and sufficating me until I could no longer breath.

When I was 26 I was again baptized in a Pentacostal church because that was their rule. I stopped attending the church about six months later. 

I then was out of church for 7 years(give/take a year). Then one day I knew I was being called back into church and I had no clue where to go. I was sent to GCC(more like dragged by the holy Spirit..LOL)between 2004-2005. I can still rememebr Mark Beeson teaching Core 101. I struggled several years, needing counceling, taking core classes, learning about boundries, but most importantly I learned that Jesus loved me right where I was at and He loved me for WHO I really was. It wasn't unitl GCC was launched in Elkhart in the Theator that I became a small group helper. By the time we moved to the RV Hall of Fame on CR17 I became a small group leader. We had our first baptisim there last year. I was so excited for those who were baptized! I asked a few people then if I should get baptized. They said once you are baptized you never have to do it again.So, I just went on in agreement. This year I had asked again about getting baptized. These are the words that were said:'If you FEEL you should then you should'.

The difference from when I was 13: I felt a bit pushed, when I was 22:Still unsure, whe I was 26: This time it is because I feel led by God to do it. To show the leaders, the parents, and the students that I am a Christ Follower. It feels real to me this time, just like my walk with God. In the past 2 years I feel more real than I ever have. This is why I am getting Baptized next Sunday. :-)